“Take care of things that matter to you. Whether it be your career, relationships, family, health, etc. Things thrive when you are able to give it the proper attention and care it deserves. ”
“Your mind follows your body. If you want a sharp mind, you need a sharp body. That includes eating right, working out, and taking care of yourself.”
“When in doubt? Face mask. ”
“The flower doesn’t dream of the bee. The flower blossoms, and the bee comes. ”
25 learnings at 25
Written April 2018
24 propelled me to step outside my comfort zone, deal with failure, accept losses, celebrate my wins, and most importantly taught me that I need to be my #1 champion. Turning 25, I reflected on some guiding principles I learned, and thought I'd share.
Be a team player— be a good sport about things.
Don’t make excuses. Be honest with yourself: it’s either you really wanted to or you didn’t.
Keep your “priority list” to less than four items. The more items you add to the list, the less chance each one will be accomplished.
Tell people how much they mean to you and what you’re proud of them for. Not just your s/o’s, but your family, friends, coworkers, etc. People thrive when they feel appreciated.
For the most part, life goals can be bucketed into two categories: it will happen one day or it might happen one day. Only panic about goals that fall into the latter bucket. Things that will happen come with patience and hard work.
Drinking is borrowing happiness from tomorrow. Working out is giving happiness to tomorrow. Both are good, and both (IMO) should happen regularly for optimal happiness.
Try to work out as much as you can. Besides obvious health benefits, it’s incredible what a shift in mood it will bring.
If you’re stuck between doing or not doing something, and the only reason why you don’t want to do it is because you will feel uncomfortable. Do it.
Show up for people you care about. Remember their birthdays, attend parties they plan, text them back quickly, check in on them, ask how their day is doing… life moves too fast, take advantage of moments that you can be there for.
Take time to figure out your finances. Create a budget and track expenses on Google Sheets. Use the right credit cards for optimal points (I use Freedom x Reserve). Save regularly (I deposit to Wealthfront 2x a monthly and have a CD). Invest intelligently (always opt for 401k if matching and ESPP #blessVisa, use Robinhood for stocks/ETFs).
Be kind to others even when it’s hard. Habits stick-- don’t grow up to be an ass.
When people walk into a room when you’re interviewing, always get up to shake their hand.
If you're in college, join Greek life. #blessAkpsi #blessChiO It was the most fun I have ever had, and because of it I made so many friends, expanded my network, learned how to be social, and felt the importance of being part of a community. Also, (more or less) everyone should get pledged in their life at one point, it helps build thick skin.
Work for a company whose mission / product / endeavors you feel proud of. It’ll change the entire way you view going to work in the morning. #blessUber
Every year, come up with two to three goals you want to accomplish. When feeling lost, these goals will be your Northstar to help you stay on track, motivated, and mindful.
Buy an external battery. Life's too short to sit next to a plug to wait for your phone to charge.
Invest in your smile. Brush / floss daily, invest in teeth whiteners, get Invisalign (if affordable). It’s the best part about anybody, and you want it to look your best.
Always order fries at a happy hour. 9/10 times it’s a crowd favorite.
Have at least one really good profile photo (and not one from graduation or Greek life). It’ll be useful for almost ever social thing you do (from work directories to social media to even selling things online), and will make you more approachable.
Have fucking fun. Actively take time off to do things you like: travel, volunteer, dance, go out, listen to music, etc. It rejuvenates you for work, makes you an interesting person, and keeps you sane.
Split YoutubeTv with friends. Everybody deserves a guilty pleasure.
Be flexible / open to new things. You will be more enjoyable in other people’s company and it will lead you to new experiences.
Don’t be stingy with money. Treat friends out to a drink, buy your coworkers a coffee… no need to break the bank, but these gestures go a long way. (If you do this, don't expect anything in return. Gestures like this are meant to be grace, and not reciprocal.)
Celebrate your milestones. Big or small, it’s important to feel proud of yourself. It helps you reflect on your achievements, and inspire you for future ones.
Finally… Shoot your shot. The success of your career, health, relationships is all in your hands: take advantage and own it-- nobody else is going to.
2020 Vision
Written January 2020
Some learnings I have moving into 2020, as well as a public declaration of my top priorities for this upcoming year. I’m finding that writing things down really helps push me to reflect.
Prioritize time. I feel like I spent 2019 always feeling like I ran out of time… Like I didn’t get to spend enough 1v1 time with people I really loved and always feeling like I was planning to squeeze everyone in. But that truly is so crazy because how is it possible that something as long as a year (365 days!!!) I could feel this pressed for time with everyone…all the time?! Quality time is really important to me and after this year I am reaffirmed that the only one making my schedule is me #duh. Say no to things that don’t matter to you, and plan ahead to be there for people that do matter to you.
Cards are 40% of the gift. I love spoiling my friends, picking up things that make me think of them, giving them affection… but I’m realizing now that cards (words of affirmation?) are 40% of the gift. I think it is because cards show a special type of gesture that show you have sat and thought about what you wanted to say to them, and then taken the time to handwrite it. No matter what I give now, I always try to include a card, even if it’s a small postcard.
Everything is incremental. I am the most impatient person, and feel like I always need to see results (now) and (fast). The truth is though, everything is a compounded effort. You won’t lose weight in a day, just like how you can’t gain weight in a day. Hard work adds up, as does cutting corners.
Skincare = self-care. I’ve noticed at my highest, I am always taking care of my skin and at my lowest I literally turn into a potato. Continued effort in taking care of your skin (and in turn the bigger gesture of “taking care of yourself”) sends the message to yourself that you are worthy of putting yourself as a priority!
Don’t be afraid of rejection. Often times, people are curious about how certain things happen to me (getting neighborhood discounts, LOL my whole business school application process...) and it is literally because I have forced myself to ask because I would rather try than wonder “what if?”. This mindset is honestly still a work in process (as I am still scared shitless half the time) but I find myself happier each year with the ability of me being able to go after what I want.
Be a kind person. I can’t emphasize this enough. Living across three continents / four cities in 2019 made me realize that niceness is truly the universal language. Be kind to customer service (and really everyone), show empathy and compassion in others, and think about the bigger picture. I don’t want to list the things that have serendipitously come my way from being nice to others (because I think it would defeat the point AH and you should be a kind person because you want to be kind not to obtain things !!!) but what comes to mind is Aesop’s fable “Northwind and the Sun” of the businessman wearing a jacket, and the sun / wind competing on who could be the first to have him take it off. I found in general life is too short to spend time holding out to negative thoughts or being mean to others, and you get the energy you give into the world. #cheesy #buttrue #gouda
My priorities:
I want to get the most of business school (in Beijing and Boston)! I can’t believe at the time I'm writing this I am already a quarter done of my journey. Kind of wild how fast time moves!
For anybody heading back to grad school, I actually have a philosophy on comparing school to a grocery store. Hit me up if you’d like to chat about this!
I want to prioritize and put love into meaningful relationships. Find and invest my time in the people who matter to me, and continue to grow my relationships wholeheartedly— being vulnerable and open. #feels
I want to continue develop my mindset of “no zero days”. Change is incremental! I joke with my friends a personal goal of mine is its all about “books & bod” AH but I think for me it really is about taking care of myself, pushing myself physically and mentally, so that I can continue to lay that foundation for me to grow as a person during this crucial time in my life.
2021 Purpose
Written January 2021
2021 Mindset
I’m going into 2021 w a refined mindset. Two of my biggest priorities is that I want to take care of my body and my relationships.
My Body: Fitness, eating right, appreciating and taking care of my body are all part of my top priority. It’s something I don’t emphasize enough, but I want to make sure I am giving my body the love it deserves.
My Relationships: I want to take the time to take care of my relationships, and the people within them. Going beyond that, I want to continue to rise to the occasion to be a great friend and daughter. As I started my chapter at MIT this year, I am 100% aware I got as far as I have become of a support system behind me. From my preschool to high school to college to SF friends to Tsinghua / Argentina everyone of those relationships (from FaceTime calls to crazy fun trips to people just checking in on me) I never felt too far from my loved ones.
2020 Learnings
Continue to plant the seeds: I came across a list I had written in 2017 about taking care of my body, bschool, working abroad, etc... that had all now been accomplished. None of this happened overnight. I want to continue to plant the seeds of things that matter to me: taking care of my body, being their for my family, “watering” my relationships, investing in financial independence, etc.
Ride the waves: I (like many) was thrown huge curveballs this year: moving back from Beijing early, starting bschool in a COVID-conscious environment. Ride the waves, because life is unexpected but one of the best things you can do for yourself is to make it as best as it can be (nobody else is going to).
Gratitude and generosity: Echoing my 2019 statements— be kind, love a lot, and count your blessings. I find myself w each passing day (even the hard ones) how lucky I am to have this type of education, to have a family who loves and supports me, to have friends who cheer me on and somehow are unwavering in their loyalty and support towards me, and to just get to live the life I get to live. I hope this serves as a reminder to be generous w my love and compassion even in hard times, and to remember all the “wins” I have had along the way.
Overall, 2020 helped me prioritize my thoughts. My goals aren’t as surrounded by career or finance (not because it’s not important to me) but because I know if I continue to work hard, I will continue to reap those benefits and I don’t need to spend time worrying about it. This type of mindset has helped me free up a lot of brain space and allowed me to give more to my relationships, get creative and start a new venture, and become more introspective into what I want to go after.